for others
Help when praying for someone else
Celebrating the Father's love
Worship comes first
When someone asks for prayer, it is so easy to launch straight into our best prayers for whatever their need might be. However, this means that their need becomes the focus for the time of prayer. Whilst this might seem entirely logical to you since they have requested prayer for their concerns, it is actually far from ideal. Surely it is better for the focus of our prayers to be on the wonder, might and power of God, rather than on the problem? So take time to do this. Don’t be tempted to start praying for the need immediately, but instead take a little time celebrating the love of Father God for the person for whom you are praying. After all, there is quite a lot to celebrate!
If we are praying for someone, for example, we would begin by genuinely seeking to catch the Father’s loving heart for them; expressing this aloud in praise and worship to Father God. It is not just about us thanking God that this person is his adopted child, but it also involves us really believing this about them and letting it overflow into praise.
When someone asks for prayer, it is so easy to launch straight into our best prayers for whatever their need might be. However, this means that their need becomes the focus for the time of prayer. Whilst this might seem entirely logical to you since they have requested prayer for their concerns, it is actually far from ideal. Surely it is better for the focus of our prayers to be on the wonder, might and power of God, rather than on the problem? So take time to do this. Don’t be tempted to start praying for the need immediately, but instead take a little time celebrating the love of Father God for the person for whom you are praying. After all, there is quite a lot to celebrate!
- He chose them before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1.4)
- He knit them together in their mother’s womb (Psalm 139.13)
- He adopted them as his precious son/daughter (Ephesians 1.5)
- He loved them so much that he gave Jesus for them (John 3.16)
- He put them in this time and place so that they would call out to him (Acts 17.26-27)
If we are praying for someone, for example, we would begin by genuinely seeking to catch the Father’s loving heart for them; expressing this aloud in praise and worship to Father God. It is not just about us thanking God that this person is his adopted child, but it also involves us really believing this about them and letting it overflow into praise.
Engaging with the person of Jesus
Ask the Question
Come back to that simple question - “Where is Jesus for you right now?” This encourages people to explore the truth that Jesus is actually present.
Allow thinking time
It is important to ask this question and then give plenty of time for the person to reflect on the answer. Sometimes they may respond immediately, but other people might need longer to think about where Jesus is for them. If someone is reflecting quietly, it can be tempting for us to ‘try to help them’ by suggesting where we think Jesus might be - but this is not helpful. Jesus knows the most effective way for him to communicate with them and our suggestions, however well-intentioned, are likely to get in the way of what he wants to do.
Being flexible
Sometimes prayer ministers are anxious about what to do if the person receiving prayer has no sense of the presence of Jesus at all. The truth, of course, is that he is still there. Sensing his presence is not important - but the knowledge of it is. Asking this question invites people to take this knowledge seriously.
If someone says they have no sense whatsoever of the presence of Jesus, we would simply move on, doing everything we can to ensure that they do not feel awkward or disappointed. We would assure them that Jesus is present, whether or not they sense him, and proceed just the same.
Two-way Communication
Once the person receiving prayer has been encouraged to focus on the presence of Jesus with them, it is really good if they feel able to express their needs directly to him. There is always the temptation for us to do this for them, whereas the truth is that they know more than we do about what it is they really want to say to Jesus. The point about conversation is that it should be two sided, so when a person has spoken to Jesus ask them if they sense he is showing anything to them. Remind them that his voice can come in the form of a Bible verse, a picture, words of a song or even a random thought that seems to come to mind.
Come back to that simple question - “Where is Jesus for you right now?” This encourages people to explore the truth that Jesus is actually present.
Allow thinking time
It is important to ask this question and then give plenty of time for the person to reflect on the answer. Sometimes they may respond immediately, but other people might need longer to think about where Jesus is for them. If someone is reflecting quietly, it can be tempting for us to ‘try to help them’ by suggesting where we think Jesus might be - but this is not helpful. Jesus knows the most effective way for him to communicate with them and our suggestions, however well-intentioned, are likely to get in the way of what he wants to do.
Being flexible
Sometimes prayer ministers are anxious about what to do if the person receiving prayer has no sense of the presence of Jesus at all. The truth, of course, is that he is still there. Sensing his presence is not important - but the knowledge of it is. Asking this question invites people to take this knowledge seriously.
If someone says they have no sense whatsoever of the presence of Jesus, we would simply move on, doing everything we can to ensure that they do not feel awkward or disappointed. We would assure them that Jesus is present, whether or not they sense him, and proceed just the same.
Two-way Communication
Once the person receiving prayer has been encouraged to focus on the presence of Jesus with them, it is really good if they feel able to express their needs directly to him. There is always the temptation for us to do this for them, whereas the truth is that they know more than we do about what it is they really want to say to Jesus. The point about conversation is that it should be two sided, so when a person has spoken to Jesus ask them if they sense he is showing anything to them. Remind them that his voice can come in the form of a Bible verse, a picture, words of a song or even a random thought that seems to come to mind.
Recognising the power of the Spirit within us
When praying for others, the final stage is to invite the Holy Spirit to bring his power to the situation.
Touch
This is often accompanied by us laying a hand on someone’s shoulder or head, with their permission. It is important to check with people before putting a hand on them as for any number of reasons they may not like being touched and we need to respect this.
For us, the most important thing that this ‘laying on of hands’ does is to signify that it is not through my words or wisdom that any help is going to come, but only by the power of God working through us. Whilst doing this we find it helpful to remember that we carry the presence of the Holy Spirit within us; in fact we all do, because we are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6.9).
Our words
The words we use should be few, and I usually try to use words that encourage faith, such as:
“Jesus, we worship you; you came to bring abundant life – please release this life into N.”
or
“Jesus, you said it was the Father’s good pleasure to give the kingdom, so let your kingdom come to N now.”
Ask the Holy Spirit to come and wait with expectation, knowing that he longs to come to his people.
Be natural
The words we use should be natural to us so that we can speak them with confidence. You will soon find what is most natural for you. Bear in mind that we can be very prone to jargon or religious terminology. It’s important that the person for whom we are praying isn’t puzzled over the language we are using or unsure of what we are praying. Also bear in mind that the tendency is always to say too much, and this can distract the person receiving prayer from their focus on Jesus. It is not our words that bring healing, but the power of God.
Touch
This is often accompanied by us laying a hand on someone’s shoulder or head, with their permission. It is important to check with people before putting a hand on them as for any number of reasons they may not like being touched and we need to respect this.
For us, the most important thing that this ‘laying on of hands’ does is to signify that it is not through my words or wisdom that any help is going to come, but only by the power of God working through us. Whilst doing this we find it helpful to remember that we carry the presence of the Holy Spirit within us; in fact we all do, because we are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6.9).
Our words
The words we use should be few, and I usually try to use words that encourage faith, such as:
“Jesus, we worship you; you came to bring abundant life – please release this life into N.”
or
“Jesus, you said it was the Father’s good pleasure to give the kingdom, so let your kingdom come to N now.”
Ask the Holy Spirit to come and wait with expectation, knowing that he longs to come to his people.
Be natural
The words we use should be natural to us so that we can speak them with confidence. You will soon find what is most natural for you. Bear in mind that we can be very prone to jargon or religious terminology. It’s important that the person for whom we are praying isn’t puzzled over the language we are using or unsure of what we are praying. Also bear in mind that the tendency is always to say too much, and this can distract the person receiving prayer from their focus on Jesus. It is not our words that bring healing, but the power of God.
And afterwards . . .
After praying it is good to engage with the person:
This conversation is important as it might lead to more prayer, either straight away or on another occasion. Even Jesus himself had to pray twice for someone (Mark 8.22-26).
Talking together afterwards is also a way of gauging any disappointment if things have not happened as hoped for, in which case we need to be quick to reassure that if a door has been opened for God to act, then he will have done something in some part of their life, even if it is different from what they had hoped. Something will have happened!
The approach outlined above is adaptable and can be used whenever there is an opportunity to pray for people. Of course, different settings present their own challenges and often lack of time is a major factor. If you are ministering to people after a Sunday service or at the end of a home group meeting, then you are likely to have less time than if you set aside time on another occasion. Usually it is not the time spent in actually ministering to people that is the variable, but rather how much time they are given to talk about their needs. The prayer time itself can be quite short, especially if you are seeking to focus on these 3 points, as the emphasis in this approach is to encourage them to present their needs to Jesus in their own words.
A common question is whether this approach is suitable for those who have little or no faith in Jesus? It is always risky to make judgments about the extent of someone’s Christian knowledge or faith, so we would not change the approach at all. Having said this, we would certainly approach anyone who may not be a Christian with a desire to make our language as understandable as possible, and we would also minister to them with the conviction that God truly desires to make himself known to them.
- What did they sense was happening?
- Do they feel any different as a result of the prayer?
- Was anything else coming to mind during that time?
This conversation is important as it might lead to more prayer, either straight away or on another occasion. Even Jesus himself had to pray twice for someone (Mark 8.22-26).
Talking together afterwards is also a way of gauging any disappointment if things have not happened as hoped for, in which case we need to be quick to reassure that if a door has been opened for God to act, then he will have done something in some part of their life, even if it is different from what they had hoped. Something will have happened!
The approach outlined above is adaptable and can be used whenever there is an opportunity to pray for people. Of course, different settings present their own challenges and often lack of time is a major factor. If you are ministering to people after a Sunday service or at the end of a home group meeting, then you are likely to have less time than if you set aside time on another occasion. Usually it is not the time spent in actually ministering to people that is the variable, but rather how much time they are given to talk about their needs. The prayer time itself can be quite short, especially if you are seeking to focus on these 3 points, as the emphasis in this approach is to encourage them to present their needs to Jesus in their own words.
A common question is whether this approach is suitable for those who have little or no faith in Jesus? It is always risky to make judgments about the extent of someone’s Christian knowledge or faith, so we would not change the approach at all. Having said this, we would certainly approach anyone who may not be a Christian with a desire to make our language as understandable as possible, and we would also minister to them with the conviction that God truly desires to make himself known to them.
